wut???

Its not been a good couple of months and I feel like I'm breathing through water. I just am so frustrated and angry and scared for my life as I know it- job is in danger and life is so heavy and I should have been venting here

It speaks to character

I over heard people say that don't hold the elevator button down when someone is running for it on purpose or that they fake pushing it or worse lie and hit the close button making it look like it's not working. Sad when they don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Sad again that when someone walks away another actually said they would look at their screen to see what they are doing. This is of course when they forget to lock their computer...note to self never forget to do that in my office.

Sad to say you don't really like people and seem to suck right up to certain people and are crass and rude to others and think nothing of it.

Well if you realise it or not you speak volumes about yourself on doing these things, you probably would cheat at a game or lie to get what you wanted. Sad.

you know when it's happening

Ever over hear a small question from one person to another in your office and get that loathsome feeling that it was directed at them but about you?

I am adopting a cat with CP- a special needs cat and I was talking about it at the office to my one of 2 colleagues that I actually feel a little ok to do that with. I then heard one other person say to another are you planning on becoming a crazy cat lady? She turned and looked at him like she was saying "shut up! " but said nothing. Then he said oh...."did I misread that?" Then she typed and he suddenly said "oh! my mistake......."
It was just enough cloak and daggeresque to make me think it was about me. In that e-mails correcting him or telling him to shut up or whatever were sent , the look and the statements themselves make me wonder....and it may not be about what I was talking about but the fact that I am getting my 3rd cat leads me to think it was.

Nothing like something like that to make you feel ashamed of your choices or at least like you are the brut of a joke of some kind.

first impressions

I have met with the sharp tongue of a person I always thought was a beast but now I know for certain.
I should have trusted my first instincts on that one. You know when someone treats everyone but you with kindness and shows you nothing but disdain and snarly quips?

I usually trust my first instincts and I don't know how I ever felt that this person was any less of a snake than usual.

I also found another first impression was once again reminded to me when I saw a snarly response to the rules being applied. Many options were offered to allow participation and none were tried then spiteful comments were later made. By both of them!

bugs be gone

Planted most of the remaining garden plants yesterday but the bugs are so bad I thought I might loose my mind! My son helped but it was not a pleasant task!
I planted the red annuals along the drive way and in the front gardens and then went to do the tomatoes and cucumbers, pumpkins, zucs and melons in the veggie garden. I hope this summer is a good crop. The carrots, beets, radishes, beans and peas seeds are all up. I planted the lettuces ( 5 kinds) celery, cauliflower and cabbage a few weeks ago and we are now eating the greens out of the garden along with the green onions. I look for the potatoes and and melons and all that to come along! I really love fresh garden stuff.

A horrible night followed by a quieter weekend. I fear that my girl is in need of help almost everyday for a while to teach herself to learn to calm the freak out periods. Life has been so cruel to our family and I feel so old and tired. It's really not what I had looked forward to so many years ago when I looked at my husband and saw his handsome smile and glint in his eye. I always thought to myself I hope we make it through with good health to the end....he didn't though and I miss him so much!

some good some bad some ugly

So we had a really bad night. I asked my girl to clean up some dog poop because they were supposed to walk the dog out to get him not to do this on the grass near the gardens and such where we walk. Safer that we didn't walk in it that way. It ended badly, she started to throw it in a bad place that I have told her many times before not to do....then she got lippy, then I said phone's going off, then she charged me I locked the door before she could get to me, and she hit the glass door with such force that she could easily have smashed it. She ran past me so I could be stopped from getting to my computer and this isn't the first time, she takes things and pushes me around so that I cannot turn her phone off. Its been really hard and I don't enjoy my life that much these days. She is angry and mean and I am growing weary with the fight.

Then on the weekend we went to the cottage and things got a bit better. We all laughed and actually had some fun and watched movies and relaxed.

Then back to home where I feel my son and I do more than ever most of the work. She then accuses me to hitting her on the issue with the dog clean up. Of course that ended in an argument. Again I am tired of this flight.

back to life and back to reality

Why do all my titles make me hear a song... writing today's I heard that 80's song.....

Back from Jamaica- started counselling for help with stuff at home. my girl had a class mate threaten to stab her with a 5.5 inch knife and my son is still struggling with school and found a way to get his ass suspended. He jumped in and sprayed silly spray on his teacher. Not too damn smart. As for the stupid little girl that is threatening my girl I pressed charges and she will see who pushes whom around!

Days are flying by my summer seems to be flying out in front of me with soccer for the girl taking the lead and gobbling up all my time. Easter for example had training every single day.

My kid loves sports but now whining has started that it takes up all her time. I fear the busy style of coaching is killing interest.

My older dog is throwing up often, I hope he stays healthy for another long while. I will miss his devoted eyes and wagging tail if I loose him.

Our kitten is being trained to walk on a halter as she runs so fast in the yard that if she goes too far she might not be back! Older cat seems happy right where he is on the deck with an occasional wander around the house but comes straight back when called.

I am disappointed in the new gazebo bought last year, put it up again and already there are several rips!

I have a really great neighbour and he's been helping with jobs! I have to start a list cause I am so excited to be getting some stuff done! I moved the wood for the winter fires to the outside shelves and swept out the garage. It's so roomy now! I still need to clean out the shelves but a start is a start! I also cleaned out the plastic shed - well it's waist high and has swing out doors. No more old pots and junk in there! We got the pots out of the bush and even cut some of the trees that fell or were cut by my brother and never cut to burn lengths. The Forrest is looking better and better! less trees laying about, no more broken pots and I cleared a lot of dead leaves out of the gardens and even got the front yard raked before the rain this past few days.....rain that will last until next week! OH! Maybe I can clean out that garage shelf set then.....

I cleaned a drawer in my room and dumped a bunch of goodwill in a bag- just need to drop that off now! I would love to clean my closet too....might do that on the rainy weekend...