panic?

I sent a cheque to the person from whom I am renting a house in the Keys and I am waiting since Jan 29 for them to get the cheque and cash it- then I start to panic that I will somehow get screwed in this whole deal!

If I don't and it works out ok- it'll be the first time in a long time that I just take 2 full weeks and relax! I am a week at the house and a week on a cruise. I am trying to keep calm and just look forward to everything but man I am starting to notice that I am a real worrier!
At least the flights are booked and I guess if it comes to it we'll book a hotel or something! I just need to be in the warmth and sun a little while and I'll feel ok ....

I need to think cold beer - pool and let my head find a happy place !

I miss the days when my husband would choose where we went and just take charge- I remember one time we booked a hotel in the Keys and it was poolside on a resort and facing a restaurant and it wasn't terrible but it was nothing like the place he found to move to. I guess I am a bit complacent in my ways and he just went into control mode- he got the CAA book out and called around until he found a place he wanted to go then he packed us all up and moved us to the golf side of Florida- it was a long drive and boy was he right- it was one of my favorite vacations- we ended up in a fantastic little condo overlooking the ocean with a plank walkway walk to the beach- it had a pool and BBQ and full kitchen and he was so right about it all! I miss him more now than I did the first weeks and months after he died. It just seems harder and harder. I wish I could slip back into that place where I was when I had him to take care of everything- I am not high maintenance but I did like the aspect of someone caring for me. I don't really get that being a single parent. I miss just asking for someone to help because that is part of your partnership. I'll never have that again- even if I meet someone- my kids will always be mine and no one else is responsible or ever will be for them except me. It's hard knowing that I will never have someone to turn to.

I miss him so very much