I can't believe the way money flies out of my wallet and life- I have a birthday for RJ and next thing I know it I have spent the moon in doing over the bedroom and a new lap top then a new under water camera.....
I suspect I am spoiling them in light of the circumstances and I know this will have to stop but I really wish I was rich because spending money comes way too easily to me. I only hope that I don't spend too much and find I am in debt. So far so good. I have enough to cover the expenses and live a little!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
back to fun and games
Question....
How could there only be 5 people in my office and one of them never talk to me? Yes folks this is related back to the guy who's haircut was almost an argument.
He went on a trip over Christmas- I learned about it after he left and still don't know where he even went.... normal? I think not! The fact that he didn't say a word to me before or after is just excluding me. That for those of you that don't know is a form of bullying.
The ice princess always speaks cordially to me when they have to speak -but neither say hello/ Good morning and neither do anything to relate to me. She is polite as much as he is but both seem so self involved that they have no time for me. Funny but I see him talk to others and today he hasn't even said hi. I gave him mail and he thanked me but not one word to me other than that.
I'm not like the person who needs all the attention all the time but in working with various divisions and workplaces I have never felt so isolated and unwelcome as I do with this group. yesterday I had my 11 and 13 yr old kids here for 1/2 an hour - he pranced in and looked at the director's office and saw them using the desk to do their homework for 15 minutes before I left. Did he say Hi? No
He gave me a look and asked who's that? My kids I frowned back. a minute goes bay and he asked "how long before we go." I say "10 minutes why?" then he says "I don't think they should be at (my bosses) desk. " I reply that "(my boss ) cleared the desk before he left, so they are fine"
I have worked here 7 going on 8 years and never been told my kids could not sit with paper at someones desk when they are not there. He doesn't even know what my boss said before he left- maybe he told me I could use the space? The fact is that the culture in this workplace is such that having your kids in a few minutes or even an hour is no big deal. he's just trying to make me feel uncomfortable.
How could there only be 5 people in my office and one of them never talk to me? Yes folks this is related back to the guy who's haircut was almost an argument.
He went on a trip over Christmas- I learned about it after he left and still don't know where he even went.... normal? I think not! The fact that he didn't say a word to me before or after is just excluding me. That for those of you that don't know is a form of bullying.
The ice princess always speaks cordially to me when they have to speak -but neither say hello/ Good morning and neither do anything to relate to me. She is polite as much as he is but both seem so self involved that they have no time for me. Funny but I see him talk to others and today he hasn't even said hi. I gave him mail and he thanked me but not one word to me other than that.
I'm not like the person who needs all the attention all the time but in working with various divisions and workplaces I have never felt so isolated and unwelcome as I do with this group. yesterday I had my 11 and 13 yr old kids here for 1/2 an hour - he pranced in and looked at the director's office and saw them using the desk to do their homework for 15 minutes before I left. Did he say Hi? No
He gave me a look and asked who's that? My kids I frowned back. a minute goes bay and he asked "how long before we go." I say "10 minutes why?" then he says "I don't think they should be at (my bosses) desk. " I reply that "(my boss ) cleared the desk before he left, so they are fine"
I have worked here 7 going on 8 years and never been told my kids could not sit with paper at someones desk when they are not there. He doesn't even know what my boss said before he left- maybe he told me I could use the space? The fact is that the culture in this workplace is such that having your kids in a few minutes or even an hour is no big deal. he's just trying to make me feel uncomfortable.
Monday, January 4, 2010
holidays- check that one off....
Well I am having a Greek salad from Farm Boy for lunch....(a Canadian grocery place - mostly fruits and meats and veg) I am trying to eat better as the bathing suit weather is just around the corner as is my trip to Miami and the cruise.... I have most of the Christmas stuff done and well I am surprised I pulled it all off this season. I had people for dinner on the Eve friends without family they can hook up with...followed by a jog over to the people we live next to for drinks, more food and a hot tub until 4 am :) . Entertained all siblings/families and my parents Xmas day at my place....some how I got to bed at 5am got the trurkey on at 9am and then made it through all the other stuff and clean up for 20 + people....and then cleaned again the following day for the stuff we didn't have the energy to do. And by we I mean me. I got more done by myself after the fighting got so bad that the kid's got confined in their rooms. Next drove 4 hours to Peterborough for my husband's family dinner. Drove my niece back and got her home safely even though it was in the center town ( an extra hour)and I live in the West end which is where we enter the city.
Then I had the kid's friends over for NY eve..... I bought alcohol free bubbly and popers and hats and I think they had fun!
It was a hard Christmas and I cried many times over the last few weeks thinking of our loss. I tried to laugh and be happy and enjoy the new memories. It got a bit better with the kids and then worst then better then... you know how the pattern goes.
Before school days start again the last day off went by way too quickly. I think the kids listening was at an all time low and we had a bad night. The morning came and went and I got to work late but I'll stay late then, no biggie, but I am still very sad about the whole freak out my daughter did last night. I think it's hormones and stress and being tired. I know she's had a hard time sleeping so we got up early our last day and did a bunch of stuff and I had hoped with all that she'd be tired and sleep well instead she freaked well. I hope despite the nerves and stress of the season we get a bit of a calm over the next month.
Then I had the kid's friends over for NY eve..... I bought alcohol free bubbly and popers and hats and I think they had fun!
It was a hard Christmas and I cried many times over the last few weeks thinking of our loss. I tried to laugh and be happy and enjoy the new memories. It got a bit better with the kids and then worst then better then... you know how the pattern goes.
Before school days start again the last day off went by way too quickly. I think the kids listening was at an all time low and we had a bad night. The morning came and went and I got to work late but I'll stay late then, no biggie, but I am still very sad about the whole freak out my daughter did last night. I think it's hormones and stress and being tired. I know she's had a hard time sleeping so we got up early our last day and did a bunch of stuff and I had hoped with all that she'd be tired and sleep well instead she freaked well. I hope despite the nerves and stress of the season we get a bit of a calm over the next month.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tag me out of the ring please!!
I had a horrible night that ended with a glass of wine too many.....I can't seem to get my teenagers to 'get it' when I say to do something.
So when you take out the garbage put a bag in the can and then the smaller kitchen bag. Same for any garbage at all it should be in the can but in a bag as well!!! After 6 months of this it's time for Tibetan monks to record this in their chants so I can play it over and over again to them. "Use a garbage baaaaaaaaaag. "Can't you hear it now?
Don't like being made fun of and called names and I feel like giving up. I actually said out loud to my kids that I wish my husband was here and I was gone. That's how bad it was last night. It's so much to just keep up the usual needs of running a home by yourself and now I am finding that the computer is not working and the gifts are not finished and there is still so much to do! My mom invited herself and all the family over for Christmas day and I now need to host that event. My parents said that they will bring the already stuffed turkey and peeled potatoes which is easier but then I still have a whole house to clean. And I am having terrible problems with the kids. No one picks up anything they use or basically picks up after themselves.
Last weekend we had R's hockey team for a pot luck. I asked her all week to do things each day. Nothing was ever done. She missed going out on Friday trying to get the basement cleaned and the tree up. Then she had her practice and I went to the basement that she told me was done. It turns out that the tree was not finished ( a 3 foot tree with 2 strings of lights and some balls. ) It was a mess, the table had food drips and plates, the floor had not been vacuumed and there were dirty socks and stuff that was supposed to be put away still out. It took an hour to get it done. Another 3 hours to do the rest of the house. She came home and found almost it all done. She got to go to a friend's house and snow boarding the next day. I cleaned up and re vacuumed and washed all the dishes.
When she returned I had a hot dinner ready she then had an hour to relax then had hockey. I think it's pretty reasonable to ask someone to clean up the kitchen after their breakfast the next day....I wish I could understand the mind of a teen, cause apparently that was not the case!
The one thing I miss more than just having someone to talk to is someone to tag me when I run out of follow through energy. I know the key to getting them to listen is consistancy and yet all I have left is tears some days. She was more than a little cruel last night in the things she said and I am having a really hard time with the stuff that was said.
Just after I wrote most of this she appologised for what she said. I think I am happier but frankly I don't know what to feel.
So when you take out the garbage put a bag in the can and then the smaller kitchen bag. Same for any garbage at all it should be in the can but in a bag as well!!! After 6 months of this it's time for Tibetan monks to record this in their chants so I can play it over and over again to them. "Use a garbage baaaaaaaaaag. "Can't you hear it now?
Don't like being made fun of and called names and I feel like giving up. I actually said out loud to my kids that I wish my husband was here and I was gone. That's how bad it was last night. It's so much to just keep up the usual needs of running a home by yourself and now I am finding that the computer is not working and the gifts are not finished and there is still so much to do! My mom invited herself and all the family over for Christmas day and I now need to host that event. My parents said that they will bring the already stuffed turkey and peeled potatoes which is easier but then I still have a whole house to clean. And I am having terrible problems with the kids. No one picks up anything they use or basically picks up after themselves.
Last weekend we had R's hockey team for a pot luck. I asked her all week to do things each day. Nothing was ever done. She missed going out on Friday trying to get the basement cleaned and the tree up. Then she had her practice and I went to the basement that she told me was done. It turns out that the tree was not finished ( a 3 foot tree with 2 strings of lights and some balls. ) It was a mess, the table had food drips and plates, the floor had not been vacuumed and there were dirty socks and stuff that was supposed to be put away still out. It took an hour to get it done. Another 3 hours to do the rest of the house. She came home and found almost it all done. She got to go to a friend's house and snow boarding the next day. I cleaned up and re vacuumed and washed all the dishes.
When she returned I had a hot dinner ready she then had an hour to relax then had hockey. I think it's pretty reasonable to ask someone to clean up the kitchen after their breakfast the next day....I wish I could understand the mind of a teen, cause apparently that was not the case!
The one thing I miss more than just having someone to talk to is someone to tag me when I run out of follow through energy. I know the key to getting them to listen is consistancy and yet all I have left is tears some days. She was more than a little cruel last night in the things she said and I am having a really hard time with the stuff that was said.
Just after I wrote most of this she appologised for what she said. I think I am happier but frankly I don't know what to feel.
Monday, December 21, 2009
the big 25...
Well Christmas is around the corner and I found a nice gift for my parents and sent them to a private box at the Sens game- their own bathroom within the suite and being on the first floor is good for my dad who has bad knees. I think I did a good job getting them something nice- it's hard to do that for them- since they virtually no passtimes and only travel for fun. It even came with a parking pass.
Now I just need to get the wrapping paper and last couple of gifts and I need a few things for the dinners I will serve.... I will see my first Christmas alone in 15 years. It's not been easy to get in the spirit. I gave R her gift of a new snow coat since she was snoboarding all day and then felt I should give one to A too. I'm trying to decide if that means I need to get someting else or not...
Now I just need to get the wrapping paper and last couple of gifts and I need a few things for the dinners I will serve.... I will see my first Christmas alone in 15 years. It's not been easy to get in the spirit. I gave R her gift of a new snow coat since she was snoboarding all day and then felt I should give one to A too. I'm trying to decide if that means I need to get someting else or not...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
old dog new tricks!
Two perfect strangers and yet they can get along? Not even the same species and certainly set in their ways- dog is 11 cat is 6 ! And if it has to be seen to be believe than here is the proof that you can teach old dogs....to be friends with a cat. Our buddy Mr T arrived and has made himself at home and the resident Mr M seems to have no issues!Thursday, December 10, 2009
Is it a PMS moment or...
I engaged in convo with a coworker a few times and I feel like I could make ice cubes off her aura. Today I said something about my family then I asked her about her family name just a passing question and she said where her husband family was from sort of but then said nothing of herself. It was one of those moments where you give the chance for someone to reciprocate and that doesn't happen.
I have a lot of coworkers that I chat with when I see them and this one just always seems to not engage.
The problem is that she ( ice queen) now works right beside me and the lady next to her is also quite cold (Ice Princess cold). So much so that a colleague was offended by her general "ignore you" demeanor and complained to me. I guess she did that because IP works with me. My other problem is that there is a guy I also work with and the thing is when ever I speak to him he either dismisses me or gets aggressive. He got a hair cut and I said " It looks good did you deliberately want to go so short? " as it was a drastic change and he got defensive about the cut..."does it look like an accident?" "No" I reply but "it's just a lot shorter...."He again jumps in "Do you think I would let them do something I didn't ask for?" No" I reply, now getting a bit angry "but you wouldn't be the first to say take a bit off and they swipe the buzzer and now it's too late and it's way shorter than you asked for!" Why would someone act like this then a moment later chat happily with another colleague about something just as fluffy.
Does this seem to be the kind of place you want to hang out in? Two cold hearted bitchy women and an aggressive guy?
There is one guy who is so nice and easy to speak with and the hair guy talks to him. He also talks to the ice princess and she to him... it seems that I am always the one cut out of the equation. It doesn't help that they all do a specific function and I do not I do something different for the team. I say Team because we are one department and rather isolated and I am not sure I made the right decisions coming here now....
I just really don't know what to do...I am starting to hate coming to work. I think I will start applying for other jobs and a try to relocate but with the losses and the extra things to deal with a new job is going to make things even more tough.....
My last 2 divisions were a lot of fun and I enjoyed the people around me, here I feel like I am the odd man out. Last night I was up until 1 am and didn't want to come in today...I had to pep talk my way in and even then I came in later than usual and I now have to stay later.
I have a lot of coworkers that I chat with when I see them and this one just always seems to not engage.
The problem is that she ( ice queen) now works right beside me and the lady next to her is also quite cold (Ice Princess cold). So much so that a colleague was offended by her general "ignore you" demeanor and complained to me. I guess she did that because IP works with me. My other problem is that there is a guy I also work with and the thing is when ever I speak to him he either dismisses me or gets aggressive. He got a hair cut and I said " It looks good did you deliberately want to go so short? " as it was a drastic change and he got defensive about the cut..."does it look like an accident?" "No" I reply but "it's just a lot shorter...."He again jumps in "Do you think I would let them do something I didn't ask for?" No" I reply, now getting a bit angry "but you wouldn't be the first to say take a bit off and they swipe the buzzer and now it's too late and it's way shorter than you asked for!" Why would someone act like this then a moment later chat happily with another colleague about something just as fluffy.
Does this seem to be the kind of place you want to hang out in? Two cold hearted bitchy women and an aggressive guy?
There is one guy who is so nice and easy to speak with and the hair guy talks to him. He also talks to the ice princess and she to him... it seems that I am always the one cut out of the equation. It doesn't help that they all do a specific function and I do not I do something different for the team. I say Team because we are one department and rather isolated and I am not sure I made the right decisions coming here now....
I just really don't know what to do...I am starting to hate coming to work. I think I will start applying for other jobs and a try to relocate but with the losses and the extra things to deal with a new job is going to make things even more tough.....
My last 2 divisions were a lot of fun and I enjoyed the people around me, here I feel like I am the odd man out. Last night I was up until 1 am and didn't want to come in today...I had to pep talk my way in and even then I came in later than usual and I now have to stay later.
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