sneak another one in before it's too late

I am burnt I am browned off that it is Sept tomorrow and I also got a bit too much sun yesterday- My girl did a photo shoot for the friend that works with a charity- see her on the bike...
My big tough guy cat has a black eye or something- He tangled with the unknown in the woods and looks like he got a few hits from the other guy-
My baby Kitty is sweet and snugly and loving and I wish she would stay the same forever- My old dog had a great trip to a city as few hours away with us and as always was the perfect gentle man. He sat through the drive enjoyed the grass at the soccer game took in a walk and a drink and then slept in the car quietly while we ate at a pub. The out door terrace was beside the car and we checked him a few times! It had cooled and the car was in the shade windows open-

I am tired as usual. School is on the way and so is a trip to Mexico- I just booked the kennel and I am ready for the surf!

weeks off I suppose

Last 2 weeks I went to the cottage and I painted whenever the weather was good- I painted the deck the sheds and the docks- well I helped the kids and I did it all together- it looks so good and I feel great that we got it all done- More than that I think my father is really happy we got it done- The only thing left is the dock- we used a 3 system stain on cedar and it got the first can but the 2nd and 3rd coats are still left to be done- I also should do the pergola as I noticed spots not done on that- whenever we get back up maybe I will look at getting that done-
We didn't relax that much but I think I'll book us a trip and see what happens with that! We did have a 2 weeks on a cruise and 2 weeks in Paris so it's no biggie that I worked a bit on this time off-

I also bought new comforters for the beds and they looked really good!

Cat's and wine

The owner who gave us our cat due to her allergies was missing him and came to see him- they I should say as the whole family was there when I was expecting just one- either way the cat was a bit uncooperative b/c he wanted to go outside and instead of cuddling or looking any way like he missed them he hissed and growled. I suppose I should feel flattered. It could mean he likes it at out place....

Eventually the kids and hubby left and the lady sat with me and had wine and we literally hopped from deck to deck and back again following the cat so she could be with him. He's a good little boy and I would miss him too if I had to give him up so I sympathise.

We sat up and had fun and I really feel it this morning! I was tired yesterday but today I am like wiped right out.

My boy is at camp and I have to get him there for a set time so it means not dillydallying in the morning. It's noon and I am beat! I have a soccer game on tonight and I am looking forward to my bed although it will be 9 hours maybe more until that time!

did this that and the other thing

I have planted and weeded the veggie garden
I have seeded, watered and cut grass
I have laid mulch down then laid some more probably 70 bags now
I have planted bush, flower, vine, short flowers , tall ones ,in pots and in the ground
I have eaten veggies from the garden and shared them with family and friends
I have vacuumed the garage and the deck....well there's carpets there to be fair!
I have removed a mouse body from my feet and praised an adopted cat for the gift, repeat 4 X
I have driven to late husbands family event & visited
I drove a Brother in law and GF back to my city and had them as guests
I yelled at the kids, cried with them, hugged them and mourned their dad a year after he died
I watch them play soccer and try to have their friends over
I worked, twisting numbers and forms to make sense-
I paid lawyers and accountants and bills and taxes and feel a little raw by it all
I fixed a toilet and the toilet seat and tried to fix the tap- not there yet!
I vacuumed and bleached and dusted and washed, repeat every week!
I sorted and treated for stains and washed and ironed, repeat every week!
I found a kitty for my son to love and he named her Halo for his angle who's also his dad
I have fought long and hard with my tween girl and cried tears that she can't yet
I have felt longing and broken and beat down and disappointment and pride
I have been surprised by a little boy's effort
I have been shameful of the state of my tween's room in front of company
I have been duped, lied to and manipulated
I have been hugged
I had my septic break and had it fixed
I had new brakes on the car
I had my soccer mates over and they planted a tree in memory then drank in celebration!
I have spoken to the banks and fixed their mistakes, soon my name will be on the house
I have missed him with every fiber of my being
I have a broken heart.

I guess I'll help again

I had a blow out then I just took a quick swallow of pride and sense of self respect and will likely go to the cottage and cut the grass. My brother has said he's going numerous days and still can say that and not show up. I wanted to have the girls up for one night but the way things are going I sincerely hope it happens but don't hold much hope-

My daughter left the doors open and went touring around on her bike- then she left the bike sticking out and I wasn't able to close the garage. I went to got her and told her to move the bike and close the garage and she didn'r so this morning I found the door wide open and the bike still in the way and to top it off the other bike right in the way of the car pulling out. honestly I think I'm going to loose it this summer if this is the way things will go.

negative ways

I went to our family cottage and I cut the grass and visited for a bit and mostly I just got very frustrated. I listened to how my mom sees people- 'this one is cheap and this one is ...."

You know I wonder what drives me to do do do and I may just now know- I think my parents focus on what is not done and forget what has been done pretty damn quickly. While there I was complained to on how terrible we ( my siblings and I) are that we didn't send flowers when my grandma died. Sadly I just buried my husband a few weeks before, I was in a financial crisis and probably in a state of shock. Sick - that's just sick to be criticised for not sending flowers. I said hey man wait a minute I was....(see above) and then was told don't take it personally. Don't take it personally? Seriously! I just can't believe this.

Sadly when my mother took off to Europe my grams went very bad health wise and I went down to see her and I helped make decisions on things like DNR decisions- It was really hard- I brought her flowers and visited and helped her eat-

all forgotten and not one bit of thanks late on.

All to say I try to do everything maybe in some way trying to get someone to acknowledge what I get done- my house is clean the laundry gets done grass cut, gardens weeded and planted- repainting done and new furniture ...anyway...I guess some part just never heard anything good out of them and does 5 times what most people do to get the few complements that gets me. Then the next family visit I get told all the bad things I did again.

This week an earthquake struck and I was evacuated from the 20th floor of my office tower. It happened a few minutes before I could print out directions to the funeral home where my sister in law's mom was waked. I missed the wake. I called my mom the next day-

she eats her cereal chopping it in the phone - so why didn't you go to the wake? lets' just say in a few minutes of convo I hung up. In that few minutes she judged me for not going- made comments that she thinks that kids could go with missing sports once in a while for these things and pretty much made me feel like crap. I responded with - gee an earthquake kinda stopped my plans! If I had a husband to get help from I would have gone at night- and my daughter just missed her sport last time you took her out to get a dress for a dance because it was too much for you to drop her off at a field. Also you want to come down on me for not making a wake? then why would you ( my mother) start telling me my grandma was dead at my husband's funeral? She wasn't dead by the way and no one that saw it quite gets what she was ranting about.

honestly??? how can someone like that just look at what everyone else does wrong?

garden

This year I planted,
radishes, beets , carrots, tomatoes,, cauliflower, green onions, garlic, peas, pumpkins, lemon grass, cucumber, zucchini, 5 types of lettuce, bok choy, potatoes, watermelon, beans and a bunch of herbs

So far we have radish, green onion , loads of lettuce a few tomatoes and that makes some tasty salads-

The first tomato My husband used to cut in half even if it was a cherry or grape tomato and sprinkle it with a little salt and pepper and serve it up ceremoniously- I miss that. I really miss him.